kids' parties

I went to a three year old's birthday party today.  We over did it on our gift. We always do.  We also brought packages for his brother and sister to open-with Mom and Dad’s foreknowledge.  We knew what he wanted for his birthday, and did our level best to obtain it.  We went realizing we were there at the parents’ request, not at our own ultimate decision.

Upon greeting the birthday boy, we noticed that Mommy was still holding little sister.  I, of course, seized the opportunity to hold her a bit, Nana-free.   I should probably explain something here, about the “Nanas” the kids have.  Different older women the family knows have “adopted” each kiddo-so they get all of these Nana and Poppies in their lives.  Pretty good deal for the kiddos, not so bad until Nanas think they know better than Mommy and Daddy.  The Nana for the baby doesn’t like her “Aunties” very well, so we do not get much time holding her if Nana is around.  So you can see why I was ecstatic.  Anyway, happy baby goes to Auntie for some overdue loving.

In swept crabby Nana, “Oh she’s hungry, I need to feed her.  She needs a bottle or some Cheerios,” and tried to take her from me.  Instead, I passed the now weepy infant back to Mom, who is after all, the primary caregiver.  Nana literally ripped her away from Mom.  Mom indicated,"She may need to nurse."  Nana replied,"She’ll be fine with formula."  Whew.  We moved on to the other 2 kiddos, who no longer have that kind of Nana drama.  We started playing and opening presents.  Our presents were well received and the rest of the mess was driven away.

Then came cake time.  Baby is still eating baby food, no dairy.  Nana pretended to hand me the baby.  She pinched her arm as she passed her to me (yes she did!).  So I handed her right back.   Then came the cake and ice-cream.  Mom said to baby, “None for you yet,” in front of all 3 Nanas.  Mom was then occupied with the birthday boy.  Soon, baby was eating ice-cream!  Are you kidding me?  All well and good for Nana-the-ice-cream-feeder now, until baby, WHO DOES NOT EAT DAIRY, gets a sore, screamy tummy at 2 am.  I was dumbfounded at this woman.  A pushy, inappropriate, aggressive person who wouldn’t even follow Mom’s directions.  We left at that point.  Enough already.

Parents have the say so in the raising of their children.  No matter how well meaning, unless you have been invited, your input is inappropriate at best.  Sometimes we forget that others are allowed to raise their kids in ways other than what we might choose.  It comes down to politely remembering we are in their lives by invitation only.  Sometimes they are not our choices to make.